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Whatever You Do, Don’t Do This if You’re Planning a Destination Wedding
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Morgan’s Author Profile on Fodor’s Travel
A complete lists of do's and don'ts for anyone planning a destination wedding.
Planning a destination wedding can be tricky. Who pays for what? What is expected? What do you need to consider when picking a wedding destination? With wedding season in full swing, we’ve interviewed two wedding planning experts, asking them questions on etiquette, their hot takes on invitations, tips on managing the costs, and everything else needed to throw a memorable celebration.
When to Send Your Save the Dates
You’ve probably found yourself searching online for a definitive answer on the best time to send your Save the Dates, only to discover the answers vary. According to Amanda Virga of AMV Weddings and Laura Ritchie of Grit & Grace Inc, it’s better to send your Save the Dates earlier than later.
“People are super busy and catching up from a backlog of COVID,” explains Ritchie. “This is one of the busiest travel years, and people have busy lives. Your Save the Dates need to be sent out ASAP. That means 12 months before the wedding, if it involves flights and international travel.” In short, if you’re planning a destination wedding, send your Save the Dates pronto.
How to Help Your Wedding Guests Plan a Trip to Your Wedding
Once you’ve sent out Save the Dates, the next step is to put yourself in your guest’s shoes. For some guests, planning travel is fun and exciting. For others, planning travel causes stress-induced stomach aches and hair-pulling while trying to purchase an affordable plane ticket. To be helpful, you’ll want to overcommunicate and send out your wedding website with as many details as possible as soon as possible.
“Have all the information at the ready on your [wedding] website and make suggestions that guests fly to this particular airport, book with this recommended shuttle company, use this link for the hotel block, and include the concierge number at the resort,” advises Ritchie. “[Your wedding website] should be a one-stop shop for them.”
In addition to travel resources on your wedding website, you should include an outline of wedding events with start and end times, safety information, weather considerations, and details on whether Uber operates in the area. It’s also helpful to offer dress code tips, such as suggesting sandals over stilettos for beachfront ceremonies. Ritchie encourages brides to create dress code design boards with ideas.
With all this hand-holding, it may be tempting to hire a travel agent and direct guests to them, but don’t go overboard. Virga and Ritchie agree that you should let guests book their travel. With people traveling from different airports, trying to coordinate flights will be a mess. Let guests choose their own modes of transportation and dates. Destination wedding guests typically extend their travel plans and continue to explore the area beyond your wedding.
Being Considerate of Your Wedding Party
If you go the traditional route, your wedding party is invited to a few different events, including the bridal shower, the bachelor/bachelorette, the rehearsal dinner, and the wedding itself. The wedding party has a lot on their plate, so it’s important to consider how to thoughtfully include them in your celebrations while respecting any financial or vacation time limitations.
Our experts offer a suggestion: poll your friend group to gauge their preferences and comfort levels. Opening up a line of communication and discussing the events with your friends can help you understand what they are comfortable participating in, Virga suggests. Additionally, Ritchie suggests considering adding a few days leading up to the wedding.
“You’re already abroad and making special memories,” Ritchie says, but it’s important to consider the financial aspect and the time commitment required. Ultimately, it’s your job to read the room and be considerate of your friends.
Deciding Who Gets a Plus One
When it comes to invitations, who gets a plus one?
“People don’t like to travel alone and you might need to be a little softer with plus ones than if you’re hosting a wedding in your city,” Ritchie says. “If Bob is your coworker and doesn’t know anyone else at the event, he can bring a guest. If your cousin has a different girlfriend at every holiday event and your whole family is there he doesn’t get a plus one.”
Virga adds that a plus one should not be automatically given. It’s important to consider the length and depth of the relationship.
“Would you travel with someone after just a few months of dating?” she asks. Traveling can be stressful, especially for new relationships. Another pinch point is the venue capacity and limited numbers. Virga suggests being aware of the maximum capacity of your venue and determining if you are nearing that limit or if you have room to be more generous with plus ones.
As a thoughtful bride-to-be, it may seem considerate to share with guests an estimated cost for attending your wedding. However, our experts strongly advise against this approach.
“It’s really hard to estimate a budget, and costs are unpredictable that far ahead. Flights will double in price and then drop,” Virga warns. When it comes to costs, it’s best to provide clear and upfront information only about room rates. If you’re concerned about the cost of accommodation, Ritchie suggests talking with the resort about subsidizing the negotiated rate.
Our experts unanimously agree that you should never ask your guests for money.
“If you want to host a boat day, you are hosting and paying. You should never put your name on an activity and tell people to come if you’re not footing the bill,” advises Ritchie. You can suggest optional excursions like a Tuscan wine tasting or a visit to nearby ancient ruins, but let the guests book those activities themselves through the hotel.
Follow the Rule of Three
If your guests have made the effort and commitment to attend your wedding festivities, they deserve some face time with you. They’ve traveled this far, so not getting some quality time would be in poor taste. Ritchie and Virga both agree that three days should be standard. The total length should complement the travel time it takes to get there, so Europe could warrant more than three days. You want guests to have “a great mix of events and free time to explore the destination you’ve chosen. Guests can explore the organic reason you fell in love with it,” Ritchie says.
For a three-day event format, think: welcome reception, wedding, then sendoff. A welcome reception could be as simple as drinks in the hotel bar or a full beach bash BBQ. Ritchie explains there needs to be an initial event that anchors your guests to you. Virga points out that this format is also a great way to weave in local culture during your time with guests. Consider a Tuscan wine tasting, a French perfume tour, or entertainment as a great way to honor the culture. Virga remembers an evening at Lake Como with Italian tenors singing over dinner and “grown men just in tears.” Then comes the wedding day. Then plan a sendoff touchpoint for people to say goodbye. Ritchie says that the sendoff is very important because you want the weekend to have “bookends.”
However, be mindful of flight arrival and departure times. If you schedule a pickleball tournament for Friday morning but flights to the island don’t arrive until 3 pm, you may not have any players. Similarly, if your Sunday brunch coincides with the first flight home at 11 am, you may find yourself eating eggs Benedict alone. Ultimately, it’s crucial to prioritize convenience and consider your guests’ travel arrangements when mapping out your wedding weekend schedule.
Forego Gifts When Having a Destination Wedding
In regard to bringing gifts to destination weddings, Virga doesn’t see it being common.
“Physical gifts are silly to travel with back and forth,” she says. Sometimes there will be cards with cash, or maybe someone will buy a shower gift but perhaps not a wedding gift. “Their presence may be the gift,” she says. A tangible gift is less common and less expected for a destination wedding.
Should You Invite Kids to Your Wedding?
As a wedding photographer, I’ve observed many instances where children are brought to a wedding, only to become unsupervised chaos during the reception. From sliding across the dance floor during the first dance to getting their hands on the wedding cake. When thinking about whether or not to invite kids to your celebration, consider if you’re ok with an extra element of surprise that may ensue on your special day. If your guests are determined to bring their children, I recommend suggesting that they arrange for babysitting services through the concierge desk. Their little ones can have a great time jumping on hotel beds, watching movies, and ordering room service while the adults enjoy an elegant evening out.
Don’t Plan Your Wedding for the ‘Gram
While having a hashtag gorgeous wedding day is important, it’s equally important to remember that the purpose of gathering your loved ones in a far-flung locale is to spend time with them. When thinking about your budget, it may be tempting to create Instagram-worthy floral arrangements with five different bridal looks, but consider how some of that budget might enhance your guests’ comfort and experience. This could be subsidizing a portion of their accommodation costs, providing transportation services, arranging an extra activity or entertainment showcasing the local culture, or leaving a welcome basket in your guest’s hotel rooms. For example, if you’re getting married in a tropical area, consider including bug spray and sunscreen in the welcome basket. These “creature comforts,” as Ritchie aptly describes them, may seem less glamorous but are highly appreciated by your guests. Remember, wedding planning isn’t necessarily about extravagance but about being thoughtful.
Maggie Louise Bridal Boutique
A beautiful styled session at Maggie Louise in Memphis, TN.
Photographer: Morgan Newsom Creative/ Styling: The Bridal Theory Dress Boutique: Maggie Louise Bridal Florals: John Mark Enterprises Florals: Everbloom Design Hair: Jess Robinson Beauty Makeup: Kimberly Yasmine Videography: Bridge Films
Maggie Louise Bridal Boutique
A beautiful styled session at Maggie Louise in Memphis, TN.
Photographer: Morgan Newsom Creative/ Styling: The Bridal Theory Dress Boutique: Maggie Louise Bridal Florals: EH Blooms Model: Emily Redd Hair: Jess Robinson Beauty Makeup: Isabella Allen Beauty Makeup & Model: Kimberly Yasmine Hair: D Rachelle Videography: Bridge Films
Paris, France Bridal Session
A beautiful styled session at Sacred Coeur and Montmartre in Paris, France.
Photographer: Morgan Newsom Model: @nh.shiro Creative/ Styling: The Bridal Theory Dress Boutique: Top Bridal Paris Shoes: Bella Belle Accessories: Les Couronnes de Victoire Accessory Boutique: Mood and Muse Boutique HMUA: Julia Goetz Makeup Vow Books: Wedding Story Writer Garter: Mamie and James Ribbon: The Lesser Bear
Tucson, Arizona Desert Styled Shoot
Bridal portrait session near Dove Mountain in Tucson, AZ.
Photographer: Morgan Newsom Florals: Posh Petals Wedding Dress Designer: Pronovias Wedding Dress Boutique: Gigi Bridal Hat: Stetson Planner: Jane Castle Events
Claire Pettibone Showroom- New York Bridal Fashion Week
Photographer: Morgan Newsom Designer: Claire Pettibone Creative/ Styling: East Made Co. Florals: Faye and Renee Shoes: Bella Belle HMUA: By Marcello Costa Accessories: Twigs and Honey Cake: Trouvaille Bakery Rings: Victor Barbone Jewelry Ribbons: Emma Linh Co Invitations: TPD Design House
A Simple Timeless Wedding on the Collierville Square
Julianne and Will were planning a family wedding on the Collierville Square. They had concerns about booking a photographer that was over-the-top, pushy, or controlling with their group. They were looking for a photographer that would have little to no interference with their wedding ceremony and time with their family. “Unobtrusive. Respectful of the moment. Candid. Put our guests at ease” they kept saying. They were very happy to know that I could deliver that for them.
My consult meeting with bride Julianne
Planning a wedding is a big task and choosing the best photographer for yourself can feel daunting. "How do I pick a style? Which photography collection is the best fit? How do I start a photo timeline?" When I meet with someone about wedding photography I try to put all these questions at ease.
I met with Julianne and her mom to get ice cream. That's one way to take the wedding stress away! They contacted me and I always think an in-person meeting is a great way for us to find out if we're on the same page, I can deliver what you're looking for, and if our personalities are compatible. I feel like the three of us hit it off.
Julianne and fiancé Will were planning a family wedding around the Collierville Square. They had concerns about a photographer being too over-the-top, pushy, or controlling with their group. They were looking for a photographer that would make little to no interference with their wedding ceremony and time with their family. "Unobtrusive" Julianne and her mom kept saying. "Respectful of the moment. Candid. Put their guests at ease."
I told them that I was very happy with those descriptions because I knew I could deliver that for them. In journalism school I was taught to be the observer, the recorder, not the center of attention or to stir up the moment. If my classmates or I had done that for a story it would have been unethical and not a reflection of the actual events. I continue to take this approach on wedding day.
Wedding day should be focused on the couple and their love story. It's the first day of their marriage and life together. Why would any photographer want to change the essence or meaning of those wedding day moments? We were all in agreement and ready for Julianne and Will's big day!
Morton Museum Collierville
The cutest little church is just on the edge of the Collierville Square. The Morton Museum can now be rented for events and parties but was once a Christian church. I love the white Gothic design, the huge stained glass windows, the way it sits on the corner, and that is has been there since 1873. It is the perfect quaint church to have a wedding ceremony.
Getting Ready Photos
Julianne is very close with her mom and sister. When we talked about the wedding day timeline she knew she wanted to get ready at home with their help. It was very relaxing being there. I always think it's a great idea to minimize stress however possible on wedding day. Being at home in a familiar place, not worrying if you forgot lipstick because you can just run upstairs and grab it, wake up and shower in your own place- there's a calmness of routine to that. It was a nice way to start a Saturday. And of course the family pet came to hang out too.
Bridal Portraits in the Garden
Julianne's dad has a major green thumb and his shade garden is one of the most beautiful I've ever seen. Julianne wanted to continue hanging out at home and take her bridal portraits there. The landscaping, the hydrangea blooms and rock paths made me so happy. I think the setting was the perfect compliment to Julianne's bridal look and was a meaningful place to her.
Groom Portraits at the Church
For Will's groom portraits I met him at the church. I love the structure of his suit with the structure and shape of the stained glass window. It felt very gentleman-ly to me. And of course the white outside walls created the perfect backdrop for more casual photos.
The Wedding Ceremony
The inside of the Morton Museum is just timeless. Warm hardwood floors, painted glass, crystal chandeliers, the feeling of history all around you. I wonder how many wedding ceremonies have taken place there over the past 100 years?
The stained glass window was the perfect focal point for the wedding ceremony. Because of the amazing details and symmetry no other decorations were needed. It felt very clean and Old-World. Julianne and Will's ceremony was so warm and glowy.
Reception at The Quonset
After family photos everyone was invited to The Quonset, also just near the Collierville Square. Dinner by candlelight and tons of sweet treats were waiting for their guests. I learn a lot about a family during reception time. The amount of love for each other, who has travelled the farthest and would never miss out, which groups of cousins grew up together, who the jokester is, who the matriarch or patriarch is... I love watching family dynamics.
Reception Exit
At the end of the day we all lined up outside to send off the newlyweds. Another classic touch- rose petals as they walk into their new life together. Lots of love to Julianne and Will!!
How To Choose Your Wedding Photographer
Planning a wedding is a full time job that no ones tells you about, no one pays you an hourly wage, and outsourcing this once in a lifetime opportunity sounds like the worst idea ever for us type-A personalities. BUT it's the chance for you and your fiancé to create a day that focuses totally on you as a couple and celebrate your marriage.
Making sure you planned well and having a great vendor team to back you means that you can focus on the day. Let the professionals take care of all those little details that you don't need to stress about anymore! Professionals = peace of mind.
Planning a wedding is a full time job that no ones tells you about, no one pays you an hourly wage, and outsourcing this once in a lifetime opportunity sounds like the worst idea ever for us type-A personalities (ahhhh!!!). BUT it's the chance for you and your fiancé to create a day that focuses totally on you as a couple and celebrate your marriage! The planning definitely pays off the moment you're walking down the aisle, you lock eyes with your soon-to-be spouse, and everything else around you fades. Oh I get chills thinking about walking down the aisle! Nothing else matters after that. Making sure you planned well up to this moment and have a great vendor team to back you means that you can focus on the day. Let the professionals take care of all those little details that you don't need to stress about anymore! Professionals = peace of mind.
where should i look for wedding photographers?
DO NOT skimp on this!!!! Your neighbor may have a tent you can borrow, the tween you used to babysit may be able to play one song on their violin during your ceremony, but I repeat, DO NOT skimp on photography. Uncle Bob and his "fancy camera" just won't capture your wedding day the way that a seasoned pro will. (And do you really want Uncle Bob downing beers on the dance floor when he's supposed to be shooting your reception? I swear this happened at a friend's wedding when I was a guest.)
So, where should you start your photography expedition? Instagram is a good place because there are a bazillion options when you search #weddingphotographer. This approach works if you are clear on your style, what you like/don't like, and can weed through feeds quickly. What if you don't know your style preference, or you want more of a connection with the person behind the camera? My advice- ask those brides that have gone before you! Referrals are the NUMBER 1 way that I book new couples. Past brides are quick to tell you all the details of their photography experience plus it's coming from someone that you trust and has your best interest in mind. Or if you've been a bridesmaid you have firsthand experience with some photographers and how they roll on wedding day. Ask around in your circles and hear some past experiences!
what am i looking for in regards to photography style, vision, & approach?
There isn't a right or wrong answer to this. There is only "what fits you as a couple?" Be honest with yourself. You don't HAVE to book the same photographer as your sister, y'all have different tastes. Since there is a huge range when it comes to style and approach I'm just going to help with some keywords. Choose the ones that stand out to you and pay attention if a potential wedding photographer mentions your keywords on their website or in your meeting. I've highlighted my style and approach below.
traditional natural light
photojournalistic studio light
candid dark & moody
posed light & airy
editorial true colors
dramatic retouched/ photoshopped
clean, minimalistic true to the moment
photographer directs scene photographer blends in
stylistic storytelling
things to notice when viewing a portfolio or wedding gallery
Now that we've talked about style, let's talk about photography elements in a portfolio. Again, this is also your preference and every photographer has their own shooting twist.
What do they concentrate on? Wide shots, close up, details, people, decorations?
How do they crop? Full length, mid length, close up, is anyone missing limbs or half a head in final images?
What angle do they shoot from? Eye-level, from the ground pointing up, from overhead pointing down?
Composition- are the images empty, clean, feel like they have the right amount of breathing room, or cluttered?
Do they use a filter on everything or change the color cast?
Are the colors adjusted or how they look in real life? Pay attention to the greens, oranges, and blacks.
inquire with a few photographers
Congratulations! Now you know exactly what images speak to you and what kind of photographer you're looking for on wedding day! Time to reach out.
Most photographers have a contact form on their website with the need-to-know details. Please, please answer all the questions on the contact form. It helps us get to know you and how we can serve you. Filling out all the little boxes may seem tedious but it will get you a lot farther along than leaving it blank. And we love hearing those details, it's exciting for us! Every photographer does a happy dance when they get an inquiry form. If they say otherwise they're lying....
Since you have a trained eye now I would suggest inquiring with your top 3-4 photographers to see if they have your date available. You've done your research about the best fit, you don't need 15 different quotes.
aspects of a wedding collection or photography quote
I like to work with every couple to hear about their photography needs and photo wish list. My collections are customized for each couple because I know that one size doesn't fit all. After an initial phone call with me I put together a few sample collections for us to start with and then tailor a collection to fit your budget and needs. I love my "work together" approach and knowing that my couples are getting exactly what they want! This phone call is also a great time for you to ask "what are the pros and cons of having that?"
engagement session
bridal session
rehearsal dinner coverage
bridal luncheon
send off brunch
hours of wedding day coverage
second photographer
wedding album
parent albums
guest book
book your photographer and do a happy dance!
Booking your photographer is a BIG step on the to-do list. You should feel confident and thrilled that you chose the best photographer for your wedding day! I hope this post helped you weigh through all the options and gave you clarity on who you want to work with.
Hybrid Wedding Photography
Film Photography is the most pure form to me. You have to be intentional. You have to be confident. You have to slow down and wait for the 1 second to come along and get the 1 frame. Film photography takes patience and connections with your subject to get the results you want. Someone can take 20 shots with a digital camera and hope that 1 turns out or they got lucky. Someone with a film camera may wait and take 1-2 frames but know that everything lined up perfectly, was real in the moment, and won't be manipulated later on a computer. The purest image.
Why I can’t get away from Film
Digital & film cameras
During this time of digital improvements, technology advances, and instant gratification seeing your image on a screen, what would someone "go backwards" and photograph using film? It almost sounds like I'm fighting growth or advancements and choosing to be outdated or old-school. But for me, film photography is more about being pure and grounded.
I remember buying my first digital camera. I was a freshman in high school and had big plans to use it to document school dances, football games, and anything else I felt was important at 14 years old. I loved its screen, the menus, sending AIM attachments, and burning a CD for each year of high school memories. Everyone in my friend group was super impressed with the things it could do.
But I also remember my first film camera. I was about 8 years old and was taking a kids' summer class about photography and darkroom. I was "sent on assignment" to photograph subjects around my grandparents' yard and the lake across the street. My dad's camera and a few rolls of black and white film got me through the summer class. That film camera also helped me get accepted to 1 of 25 spots in the photojournalism program at the University of Montana. Guess which camera I still have and use occasionally.... my dad's film camera that was built before I was born.
What is special about film photography?
So what is it about film and why can I never completely quit it? Film is the original, the tried & true, the OG, the timeless and classic medium that every digital camera is based off. Manufacturers create new digital cameras every year, update or improve this or that. But when was the last time Fuji said "we're going to fix this film stock." There would be an uprising by all film shooters because you just don't mess with something that is perfect.
Film Photography is the most pure form to me. You have to be intentional. You have to be confident. You have to slow down and wait for the 1 second to come along and get the 1 frame. Film photography takes patience and connections with your subject to get the results you want. Someone can take 20 shots with a digital camera and hope that 1 turns out or they got lucky. Someone with a film camera may wait and take 1-2 frames but know that everything lined up perfectly, was real in the moment, and won't be manipulated later on a computer. The purest image.
Film is magic
I shoot film to keep me grounded. It makes me slow down. It reminds me to allow things to come together in time, connect with the moment, and not rush the magic. Film is timeless. All the editing and filter companies are trying to figure out how to market and sell making digital "look like film." My answer is to skip the middle work and just go back to the original magic and goodness.
Mixing Film & Digital during weddings
This is why on wedding day you will see me with 2-3 different cameras. I always shoot a couple rolls of film on wedding day and I love bride and groom portraits the most on film! The skin tones, colors, and just that little bit of film grit are the perfect pairing for portraits. My film camera is the perfect tool when we want to slow down the moments and be intentional. My digital camera is the perfect tool at dimly lit receptions with crazy DJ lights bouncing around. Each camera has their pros, which is why I end up mixing on wedding days. But there's nothing like hearing the film rewind in the camera after you've finished a roll and you know that little cylinder holds magic.
